...how sweet of you to consider adopting a bill freak... I don't let just any toy have the right to pay My bills so if I have yet to hear from you or receive an initial tribute, I really doubt you are responsible enough to be allowed to pay My bills....

But if you are one of the losers I talk to on a regular basis and you have followed instructions to date... you may inquire about the potential of becoming responsible for one of My monthly bills....

These bills must be paid every month and you must agree to pay for a minimum of one year... to help insure your compliance... I require a minimum of 3 months paid in advance when you sign on... for piggies that really want to go the extra mile and impress, I have a little legal contract that you can sign at a notary to insure you will comply or be facing the joy of a lawsuit as a track down My money....

Capitol One Card: $85
Car (Truck) Payment: $330
Cell Phone: $90 (Pay for me to talk to REAL MEN!)
Citi Bank Card: $200
Dog Food: $40 (You can be MY dog's bitch...lol)
Gas for MY Tundra: $250
Groceries: $400 (I tend to buy good vodka and lots of steak...;P)
Gym Membership: $35
Mortgage: $2200
Nordstrom's Card: $300 (I seem to keep running up this bill...;P)
Utilities: $350 (It isn't cheap to run an A/C in the desert)

Already Spoken For:
DirecTV: $75 -- DumDum Dave
Gas for MY Mustang: $100 -- Nervous Wanker
Internet: $50 -- Sissyboi